Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"I'm not young enough to know everything."

-Oscar Wilde

Monday, August 30, 2010

Sweet Dreams

 {via hitRECord}

Tutoring 101

I recently picked up a tutoring job to support the writing and it's turned out to be one of the best part-time jobs I could ask for because I get to teach (mostly) charming little kids who provide amazing dialogue gems:

Freckles
6-year-old Aidan is a precious little kid with freckles all over his face who gets confronted by Little Boy #2:
Little Boy #2: What's wrong with your face?
Aidan: What do you mean?
Little Boy #2: Why are there dots all over it?
Aidan: They're called freckles. They're what make me so adorable.

Reading
6-year-old Zane pitches me an idea:
Zane: Can I, can I, can I read out silent?
Me: You mean out loud?
Zane: No, I mean out silent.
Me: Oh, you mean you want to read silently to yourself?
Zane: Nooo, I want to read out but I don't want you to hear me.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Here's to You, Mrs. Chen


Grace with Erika and me, the maids of honor charged with "keepin' it classy" during the trip.
 
Last weekend was an epic road trip to Vegas. My dear friend Grace is getting married and we marked her last days as a single lady with some preeetty interesting events that went something like this...
-Piled 9 girls into a massive white van, only to drive to Barstow and park next to another massive white van stuffed with 9 guys on their way to a bachelor party. Quote from one of the guys: "How about we do a trade. Three of you girls in our van and three of us guys in your van. Deal?" No deal.
-Snuck 18 girls into the Aria suite, which immediately became strewn with clothes, makeup, shoes, a blow-up doll of Richard, candy necklaces, goofy glasses, nicknamed sashes given to each girl by Grace, truth or dare cards, and enough alcohol to fill a liquor store. Quote from Erika: "Whose panties are these?"
-Drank and danced all of Friday night at Haze...literally. We all pooped out by midnight. Quote from a few girls after 15 minutes inside: "We lost Grace! Where's Grace?" "Oh, she's upstairs." (Thirty minutes pass with us going up to the second floor of Haze looking for her.) "Ohhhh, when you said upstairs, you meant in the hotel room upstairs."
-Got pimped out at the Liquid Pool Party to an Australian guy sitting alone in a cabana with a zoot suit hanging on the wall. Strangest scenario ever. There's no quote for this one because we high-tailed it out of there.
-Dined at Mix in Mandalay Bay, where Tammy worked her charms and got herself a customized dessert...unfortunately, she couldn't save herself from the cold zucchini soup. Quote from Tammy: "What is this? Where's the bacon? There needs to be some bacon in here!"
-Took a separate van home with Nadia where a crazy man wearing white pants with mysterious stains all over them squeezed in next to us and proceeded to have this outburst about 90 minutes into the car ride:
Crazy man: "Driver! Stop the van! There's no oxygen in here!" 
Driver: "Huh?"
Crazy man: "Really, I smell carbon monoxide! I can smell it! We need to stop the van!"
Me and Nadia: "Actually, carbon monoxide is odorless."
Crazy man: (silence the rest of the ride home.)

The End.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Sister Made Carrot Cake Cupcakes

 ...and they were sooo delicious! Best part? The entire thing is fat-free, vegan, and made with whole wheat. And no, it doesn't taste like cardboard. They're sweet and moist and perfect. Go here if you'd like to make your own batch. Yum!

Welcome to Elderland

What will the future look like for the elderly? A cute cartoon take on a fictional 2035 community from the talented journalists of Columbia News 21...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Otherworldly Desires

{via The Undesirable}

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Conversations With My Hairdresser

Courtesy of a 33-year-old male we'll call J.

J: Let me guess, you don't have a boyfriend.
Me: Oh, actually, I do.
J: Really? I would've never guessed.
Me: Why's that?
J: Just looking at you, I was so sure you wouldn't have a boyfriend.
Me: .........................

J: I just spotted a couple of gray hairs. You're thinking too much. Stop it.

J: Blegh, I hate reading.
Me: Maybe you haven't found the right books.
J: You're right, I've been meaning to get into self-help.

J: You wanna be a writer? That's it? You don't wanna be on TV or something that's more worth your time?

J: I get the sense that you're a very calm and relaxed girl. But then sometimes I sense there's an animal inside ready to claw its way out whenever it feels like it.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Touring With Sketchbooks

The Sketchbook Project is more than a year old but I just found out about it now (there's a lot of news out there) and I love it. How amazing would it be to be a part of this??

Flying Pictures

“I think what appealed to me about flying is that I shouldn’t be able to do it, but through photography it is possible." -Daniel Gordon

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

When Kanye's Tweets Become The New Yorker's Captions

Monday, August 9, 2010

Teenage Dream, Indeed

we can dance until we die
you and I
we'll be young forever.

(Thank you, Katy Perry.)

Friday, August 6, 2010

I'll Never Tire of Stop Motion

...especially when they're this fantastic:

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A Necessary Ingredient

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.” -Dr. Seuss

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

So True.

{via Stuff No One Told Me}

Monday, August 2, 2010

Jonsi

This is a pretty awesome cover of MGMT's "Time to Pretend" by Jonsi: